Saturday, December 22, 2007

My Political Predictions

So there was a woman, a black man, and a Mormon… Sounds like the beginning of a joke, doesn’t it? Well, here are my Presidential candidate predictions, beginning with the Democratic nominations. (Note: Will the Democrats ever realize a donkey mascot is a slam? Heck, even an aardvark, duck-billed platypus or three-toed sloth would be better than a mule, or the other word.)

Hillary – A woman for President? If she had the tough-on-terrorism record like Margaret Thatcher, she’d stand a better chance. Talk about a flip-flop record, just look at her Iraqi preemption back pedal vote. But she’ll stay in the lead.

Obama – He’ll come in a very close second. My cornucopia family members are Chinese, Korean, African American, Tongan, and Hispanic, but I’ll ask the taboo question anyway: Are American’s really ready for a black President, a woman President, or a Mormon? Personally, if I was coerced, cajoled or forced by threat of death into ever voting for a Democrat, Obama would have my vote over any other current candidate, hands down. Our ‘diversity’—this new century’s buzz word—collectively leads us to only look at the man (or woman) and not the skin color, gender or religious belief. Yeah, I wish. After reading Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, I realized even more so that we all are judgmental of the outward appearance.

I don’t see a Hillary-Obama ticket. Although that would be powerful, it’s too much change for creatures of comfort and habit—us voters and constituents.

Pretty-boy Edwards – Speaking of judging outward appearances, let’s face it, the look, the presentation, the pitch and tone of the candidates voice play a huge part in the decision of the vote. Edwards looks too young (and, hence, too inexperienced); he pays too much for haircuts and doesn’t ‘look’ like someone the majority of the population could entrust to lead the country. Except for a few young, naïve female voters and perhaps a sycophant or two supporting him, he doesn’t stand a chance of a snowball in Iraq. If I’m wrong and he is the Democratic nominee, he’ll loose by a landslide to ANY Republican.

Biggest Upset – If the inventor of the Internet and latest Nobel Peace Prize winner, Al Gore, shows up at the last minute, watch out. Even though most of us can recognize the left-leaning political agenda for his recent international popularity, the Democrats eat that up…never mind that his global warming platform has been called a sham by ‘real’ experts.

For the foreseeable future no other major party outside the Dems/GOP will have the clout Ross Perot pulled in 1992. Besides, any votes outside those two heavy-hitting parties are pretty much good-for-nothing anyway.

The Republicans:

G-man – If Huckabee sounds funny, unless your family owns a pizza shop in New York City, G-whatever is just too hard to spell for the average American. Speaking of food, the most violent throwing up I ever did was after I ate at an Italian restaurant in Saint Louis, Missouri. I can empathize with the former New York Major’s recent stay in the hospital there for flu-like symptoms. But the bottom line is he’s too Democrat to be a Republican.

Thompson – That’d be like having James Earl Jones as President. He’d sound cool, but being an actor just means people wouldn’t know if they could trust if he’s telling the truth or just ‘acting’. Hypothetically speaking, he might be able to lie better than Slick-Willy himself. Plus, when GOPers make the unconscious comparison to the legendary actor-turned-President, Ronald Reagan, Freddy just doesn’t cut the cake.

Romney – Any man with a little grey in his hair stands a chance. Think of the movie The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston. In real life Moses wasn’t a great orator. Romney also seems surreal—too perfect, some say—and he’s getting a lot of free press because of his religion. I’ll be surprised if he doesn’t take the Republican nomination. Am I biased? Let’s just say I strongly identify with this candidate much like you identify with your pick.

McCain – Too much grey hair. I like him because he’s the only military veteran most know of among the bunch, but he’s too outspoken and rough around the edges. His recent endorsement by Joe Lieberman was pretty much a useless vote for Ross Perot. He’s a has-been Presidential candidate about three times over.

Ron Paul – Who?

Huckabee – He just might take the Iowa caucus. His frank demeanor appeals to the masses. He’s more stoic and mature than Edwards (which helps) and more approachable than Romney. His popularity will rise. If Romney punches through I can see a Romney-Huckabee ticket, but if Huckabee gets the GOP nomination he’ll find another candidate for VP.

Miscellaneously important:

Putin – The former KGB hardliner will continue to rule Russia with a swelling iron fist, even if he is ‘in the shadows’ of Dmitry. The former USSR nations will continue to revolt and have their ‘Orange Revolutions’. Hopefully no more ‘dissenters’ will be poisoned, but if someone inside Russia was willing to take Plutonium into London for an assassination, you can rest assured that more eccentric things will occur…perhaps with the ‘axis of evil’-nation, Iran. ‘Person of the Year’? Pshaw!

Bin Laden – Joint Special Operations Command had him on their radar in August 2007. He was riding in a car in Afghanistan. SEAL Team 6 was on stand by to apprehend, but probably NOT kill him, and his car was being followed by an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle. He’ll continue to live this year because my gut tells me too many officials want to capture him alive rather than shoot his car with a Hellfire missile. The tall, skinny terror magnate will closely follow the U.S. Presidential elections as he has in the past. He’ll consider the timing of a spectacular attack on American soil and carefully weigh his strategic options.

If the Democrats win, more troops might be pulled from Iraq. If an attack occurs in America maybe the U.S. resolve to stay in Iraq will be strengthened. If he (or the phalanx of terrorists like him) attacks America before the election, like Islamic terrorists did in Spain on 3/11/04, will that have the power to change the vote? It certainly worked in Spain. A major attack(s) in America (or at American facilities, or companies related to America, in foreign lands) could change the dynamics of everything I wrote above. Would that strategically work in bin Laden’s favor?

Two things are certain. First, his ‘Number Two’ will continue to make communiqués and ‘press releases’ on the World Wide ‘Freedom Fighter’ Press Release Cable (WWFFPRC)—it’s as if something like that must really exist considering the effectiveness and frequency of the media statements, huh?

Secondly, bin hidin’-out Laden hates America just as much as he hates women. My friend and colleague Dr. Nancy Kobrin even reminds me that he refers to America by the Arabic female name, ‘Amrika’, to downgrade the United States. No one should listen to a woman, let alone be ruled by one! I can hear him mock.

Would he and his cohorts and emissaries want Hillary to win? Would it help his overarching platform and gain more terror recruits within Islam, giving them more justification to hate the U.S.? Or, would having a woman as President intimidate him to the point where it would terrify him even more? His rage might become even more volatile if being hunted by a woman. Hummmm…. Well here’s one for you bin Laden: America’s a FREE COUNTRY. I’m GLAD she’s running…even if only because you don't want her to.

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